20 Things to Say When Someone Calls You a Monkey

Getting called a monkey might throw you off your game, but who says you can’t swing back with humor? Whether it’s a playful jab among friends or a less-than-flattering remark, a witty comeback can turn the tables. It shows you’re confident, quick on your feet, and able to handle a bit of banter.

what to say when someone calls you a monkey

What to Say When Someone Calls You a Monkey: 20 Ideas

Monkeys are smart, agile, and full of energy – qualities anyone might be proud to have. So, if someone tries to tease you by calling you a monkey, here are 20 clever things to say that will not only diffuse the situation but might also earn you a laugh or two.

1. “I guess that makes me the king of the jungle gym, then.”

Highlighting your playful side and asserting a position of leadership, this comeback is perfect for a light-hearted scenario. It’s a fun way to embrace the comparison while also poking fun at the notion of being ‘in charge’ in a playful setting.

2. “Well, I am known for my impressive agility and intelligence.”

Monkeys are celebrated for their smarts and agility. This response proudly accepts the comparison, suggesting that you’re quick-witted and flexible – valuable traits in any situation. It’s a classy way to flip the script.

3. “Only on days when I feel like swinging from the success vines.”

This comeback is great for when you want to imply that you’re actively moving towards your goals, with the same enthusiasm and energy as a monkey swinging through trees. It cleverly turns the insult into a metaphor for success.

4. “At least I’m in good company – ever heard of evolution?”

A smart and slightly sarcastic response, this plays on the concept of evolution, suggesting that being called a monkey places you in a distinguished lineage of creatures. It’s a witty reminder of our shared history.

5. “Thanks, I’ve been working on my problem-solving skills.”

Acknowledging the intelligence and problem-solving abilities of monkeys, this reply showcases your ability to tackle challenges head-on. It’s a subtle way to compliment yourself based on the qualities of monkeys.

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6. “Do you mean my ability to climb to the top? I’ll take that.”

Monkeys are excellent climbers, and this comeback uses that trait as a metaphor for personal or professional growth. It’s an optimistic way to interpret the remark as a comment on your ambition.

7. “If being a monkey means being as adaptable as I am, then sure.”

Highlighting adaptability, this response takes the comparison and turns it into a compliment about your versatility and resilience. It’s an effective way to acknowledge your strengths in the face of a playful insult.

8. “Guess I better start working on my banana recipes, then.”

A light-hearted reply that plays on the stereotype of monkeys loving bananas. It’s a humorous way to accept the comparison without taking it too seriously, and it might even diffuse any underlying tension.

9. “Does that come with a free jungle gym membership?”

This quip treats the monkey comparison as if it were a perk, jokingly asking if there are any additional benefits. It’s a playful way to show you’re unfazed by the comment.

10. “I’m flattered, but I prefer to be recognized for my stellar grooming habits.”

Monkeys are known for grooming each other as a social activity. This comeback humorously suggests that if you’re going to be compared to a monkey, it should be for something positive and communal.

11. “As long as I’m not the one in a suit typing Shakespeare.”

Referencing the infinite monkey theorem, this witty response plays on the idea of monkeys eventually typing out Shakespeare’s works given enough time. It’s a clever and educated way to handle the remark.

12. “I was aiming for the wisdom of an old sage, but I’ll take agile and energetic.”

This reply gently redirects the comparison from being purely physical or playful to intellectual qualities, suggesting you aspire to be wise but are happy with being likened to something as vibrant as a monkey.

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13. “Well, every circus needs its star performer.”

Embracing the comparison with humor, this response suggests that if you’re going to be called a monkey, you might as well be the star of the show. It’s a confident way to own the remark.

14. “I’ll accept that, but only if you acknowledge my excellent memory too.”

Monkeys are known for having good memories, among other traits. This comeback seeks acknowledgment for intelligence along with the playful aspects, balancing the comparison.

15. “Just call me the CEO of Bananaland.”

Turning the joke into a mock title, this response plays on the banana stereotype while also suggesting you’re in charge, even in a fictional realm. It’s a humorous way to elevate the conversation.

16. “I’d rather be a monkey than a parrot. I do more than just mimic.”

Comparing yourself favorably to another animal, this retort suggests that being a monkey implies originality and action, unlike a parrot that only mimics. It’s a subtle dig that keeps the banter going.

17. “Sure, as long as I can hang out in your treehouse.”

This playful response invites the insulter into the joke, suggesting that if you’re going to be a monkey, you might as well enjoy the perks of having a treehouse. It’s a friendly way to handle the comment.

18. “Just a heads up, I’m known for stealing the spotlight, not bananas.”

A confident comeback that acknowledges the monkey comparison but redirects it towards your ability to stand out in a crowd. It’s a witty way to say you’re not bothered by the remark.

19. “I may be a monkey, but at least I’m not monkeying around with my goals.”

This response cleverly plays on the phrase “monkeying around” to suggest that, unlike the insult implies, you’re serious and dedicated to achieving your objectives. It’s an effective way to turn the comparison into a positive.

20. “Thanks, I’ve always admired their strong sense of community.”

Monkeys live in social groups and have strong community bonds. This comeback focuses on the positive aspect of being compared to a monkey, emphasizing social connections and teamwork.

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Next time someone calls you a monkey, remember that it’s an opportunity to showcase your wit and humor. These comebacks are not just retorts but a way to demonstrate that words have only the power you give them. So, why not swing back with a response that shows you’re both clever and unshakeable?