20 Funny Things to Say When Giving Away the Bride

Who knew that giving away the bride could be the perfect moment to showcase your sense of humor? Weddings are joyous occasions, filled with love, laughter, and two people promising to annoy each other for the rest of their lives.

But, before the “I do’s” and the inevitable tears of joy, there’s a unique opportunity for the person giving away the bride to break the ice and add a touch of light-heartedness to the ceremony. Whether you’re her father, brother, close relative, or friend, having a funny line ready can ease the nerves and bring smiles to everyone’s faces.

funny things to say when giving away the bride

Funny Things to Say When Giving Away the Bride

Here are 20 funny things to say when giving away the bride, each designed to make this moment memorable and enjoyable for all involved.

1. “Treat her well, or we start a return policy starting today.”

This jest is perfect for a lighthearted reminder that the bride comes from a loving and protective background. It’s a humorous way to express care while playfully warning the groom. Best used when the audience knows you’re fond of playful threats.

2. “She’s fully trained in sarcasm and eye-rolling. Consider yourself lucky!”

Ideal for acknowledging the bride’s quirky traits in a loving manner. It’s a funny way to highlight her personality, suggesting the groom has met his match. Suitable for a crowd that appreciates humor about everyday love and banter.

3. “I’ve been her ATM for years. Your card now, please!”

A humorous nod to the financial responsibilities of parenthood, transitioning them to the groom. It’s a light-hearted way to talk about the shift in roles, best used when the crowd understands family inside jokes.

4. “Just remember, ‘Yes, dear’ is the key to a happy life.”

A classic piece of advice wrapped in humor, implying that agreeing with the bride is the groom’s new full-time job. It’s universally understood and suitable for any wedding crowd.

See also  20 Funny Replies to "God Bless You"

5. “We’re not losing a family member; we’re gaining a bathroom!”

Perfect for a funny observation on household dynamics, especially if the bride has a large family. It’s a great way to express happiness about the marriage while making a joke about home life.

6. “I’m not saying she’s high maintenance, but here’s the manual anyway.”

A playful way to tease about the bride’s complexity, handing off imaginary instructions to the groom. Ideal for a laugh, particularly with audiences familiar with the bride’s unique character.

7. “You’re welcome to borrow her, but no late returns!”

This line is a witty way to treat the marriage as a friendly transaction, suggesting the bride is only being lent out. It’s a humorous approach for someone close to the bride, like a sibling.

8. “She’s a priceless gem. And by priceless, I mean seriously, keep your receipts.”

A jest that plays on the value of the bride, hinting at the groom’s good fortune and the potential costs of marriage. Best used in a setting where playful jests about marriage costs are appreciated.

9. “I’ve enjoyed the free trial, but I’m happy to transfer the subscription to you.”

A modern twist on giving away the bride, likening her to a subscription service. It’s a humorous take on relationship dynamics, suitable for a tech-savvy crowd.

10. “Remember, she’s not yelling; she’s just passionately expressing her feelings.”

A funny remark on communication styles within the marriage, offering the groom a heads-up. It’s a light-hearted way to prepare him for married life’s lively discussions.

11. “To keep her happy, just agree with everything she says. Starting now.”

A playful tip for the groom, suggesting immediate compliance is the secret to a blissful marriage. Ideal for eliciting laughter from those who recognize the humor in marital compromises.

12. “She comes with an extensive shoe collection. And no, you can’t use the closet space.”

A humorous warning about the bride’s belongings, particularly if she has a love for fashion. It’s a fun way to poke fun at the adjustments the groom will have to make.

See also  25 Funny Responses to "Excuse Me!"

13. “Consider this a gift. But unlike most, this one talks back.”

A witty observation on the bride’s spirited nature, treating her as a precious but lively gift. Suitable for a crowd that enjoys playful banter.

14. “She’s all yours! Just a heads-up, the ‘off’ button is still faulty.”

A jest about the bride’s energetic or talkative nature, humorously suggesting she comes without an off switch. Ideal for a setting where her vibrant personality is well known and celebrated.

15. “You’re getting the best model available. Sadly, no upgrades or exchanges.”

A playful comparison of the bride to a top-of-the-line product, with a no-return policy. It’s a humorous way to express the bride’s value, suitable for audiences ready for a chuckle.

16. “I’m giving you the remote control, but it only works on the TV.”

A funny way to hand over responsibility, implying that the groom might have control over the TV but not much else. Perfect for a light-hearted take on marital dynamics.

17. “Just so you know, she’s programmed to return to her original family every Christmas.”

A humorous statement about family traditions and the bride’s inevitable holiday visits. Suitable for a crowd that values family gatherings and the quirks that come with them.

18. “She’s your problem now! Just kidding, she’s the solution to all your problems.”

A playful switch-up that starts with a mock warning but ends with a compliment to the bride. Ideal for a speech that wants to tease but also highlight the bride’s positive attributes.

19. “Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. And she’s as powerful as they come.”

A clever twist on a famous quote, referring to the groom’s new role in the bride’s life. It’s an amusing way to remind him of his duties while acknowledging the bride’s strength.

20. “Take care of her, and she’ll take care of you. Or else, we have a particular set of skills…”

A light-hearted threat wrapped in humor, referencing popular culture to remind the groom of his obligations in a funny way. Best used when the audience enjoys movie references and understands the underlying affection.

See also  20 Funny Replies to "Not Interested"


Using humor when giving away the bride can ease the emotional weight of the moment, reminding everyone that while marriage is a significant commitment, it’s also an adventure filled with joy and laughter. These funny lines can help create a memorable and joyous start to the wedding ceremony, setting the tone for a happy and loving marriage.